One Kid

All I asked was to be able to make a difference in the life of at least one kid each year. This year, I certainly hope I had made that difference. To the kids who were abused, bothered by peers, losing interest in their studies, getting in with the wrong crowd, hated teachers and the like - I spoke to you all and I hope what I said made a difference. If not now, years down the line...

I don't know if this means anything to anyone, but today I checked my MySpace account and I saw that one of my students had left me a comment on my page. In response to the question of whether or not I'd be teaching him again next year, he had this to say:

"arap2 ckgu yg ajar.. amin.. :-D" [siap ada 'amin' yang tak tahan tu]

Oh God bless you, kid. You've made my year. You and the others who pray they get me for a teacher next year - I love you guys, too :-) Look forward to 2010!

The Fridge

The kids give me drawings and I stick them on my fridge.
Check the talent.

By Sophie Ng Shu Chin

By Alexander An Jie Douglas

Book (life?) Update

Argh! It's been forever since my last entry >_<
This is getting to be a really bad habit!

Anyway... Recently had my book assessed and the good news is my editor (can I call her that?) says it's got lots of potential. The even-better news (let's call this that) is that we're in for a lot of rewriting. Yay. Watch this space - I should be able to give more updates on the book by this time next year.

Back to work early this week, while everyone else was still busy enjoying their holidays (don't get me started on this) and other than a 24-hour-or-so-long blackout it's been awfully quiet around here. Teacher's Pet is still in Sarawak and won't be back till next year. Wondering if I'll end up teaching him then. I don't wanna teach him - he'll hate me and then I'll have one less friend here. Who am I gonna watch sunsets with? I'd rather teach the kids who already hate me anyway.

Kid pointed out that the cloud looks like a ship

During the holidays, TP sent me a text message to update me on the sunsets (We'd been experiencing pretty balmy weather of late so he was seriously excited to finally see a sunset worth texting about). That was when I realized I hadn't been looking out for sunsets in KL. Why? What evils were there to distract me from my usual simple pleasures? None. God forbid I only resort to watching sunsets because I'm that bored down south.

My second home

Actually, I think it's just because the kids are there and they remind me of the simple things. Which reminds me - Riss! You and I are supposed to do our own version of The Simple Life, remember? Next year, buddy - come on!

Wheee!!!

The novel is finally complete. Would you believe it?

More On The Book

I'm just two chapters away from completion. This is exciting.

Book Progress

As of last night, my novel is 75% complete :-)

HarshMarsh

A few interesting bits I've been meaning to share...

Lately, my time with one class has been spent finishing up their oral assessment. This one girl asked to see the marks that the previous teacher had given her. She was not very happy with what she saw. She told me that she and her group members had been forced to present while they were still unprepared. She had asked if they could have another go and the teacher had told her, "That's up to your new teacher." [By that time he already knew he would be leaving the school.] Well, since it was up to me, I of course gave them another chance and ended up awarding higher marks. Quite frankly, I don't know what possessed the teacher to give them such low marks in the first place. Their pronunciation was clear, they were good enough for their level, and they showed effort as well as initiative. They're learning. They're trying. What did he expect? Native speaker-like perfection? Get real. And I thought he'd been teaching for years.

Another teacher told me about this one student who (I'll say) just needs to learn at his own pace. He takes his time, and she does have the patience to cater to him. Unfortunately, she is not allowed to do so. She had offered to give him extra lessons but his mother would not allow it. She offered to lend him books for self-study and he told her that his mother would throw them away. This boy has secretly been studying locked up in his room, so afraid that his mother would find him and scold him. The only explanation my colleague could offer as to the mother's strange attitude is that his special needs has probably driven her off a mental cliff. I just call it mental. And disgraceful. If a teacher who has to cater to an average of 200 students a year can have the extra patience for a kid who just needs a little more time and attention, how difficult could it be for a mother to love her child, her own flesh and blood, just a little bit more?

Yes, they can be challenging - and believe me, I've had my fair share. This one brat in my class had the nerve to swear at me (thinking I didn't know Chinese profanity) because I caught him cheating on a test. This kid also skipped his last oral assessment but I looked though his records and saw he had gotten a pretty good score the previous year. I showed it to him and pointed out that it would be a shame if he didn't try to do as well now. He agreed, took the test, and earned a most respectable score (I had to take spontaneity into account - I didn't think he would do it there and then completely unprepared). He was very pleased, and the undeniable joy of his "Thank you, Teacher!" is still ringing in my ears - thankfully drowning out the "Ch* Ba*" he had shouted not too long before that. At one time, he completely ignored me and always sneaked out to run off with his friends. Now that he knows I care, he has yet to skip one of my classes. Well, okay, so he hasn't gotten to the point where he can prattle on about the moral values within Potato People, but at least he listened attentively while I was telling him what the story was all about. And for me, that's a pretty good start. Heck, it's even better than I had hoped for.

Is it just me or does this job just keep getting better and better?

How's The Book Coming Along?

If I haven't told you, I'm halfway through... Yay ^_^

What You Said To Lao Tse?

Because the Muslim students were all taking an exam in the hall, the non-Muslims from different classes were grouped together and placed in a few classrooms. I was in charge of one such classroom and the kids were so noisy, I switched off the ceiling fans until they kept quiet. Later, one of the boys was so rude to me, I forced him to stand on his chair for more than half an hour. The other teachers who saw were amazed that he even listened to the instructions. However, there was a great deal of mumbling in Chinese, which of course I could not understand. When the next slot came, the Muslim students were still in the hall so I had another class of non-Muslims to babysit. This one was all Chinese. Some boys were sitting together in a large group, so I planted myself in the center and had them give me a crash course in Chinese swearing. They were very amused and they happily obliged. I can now say a few things which would make any mother's heart bleed but of course, I'm not going to put them here...

Study Period

Hands up those of you who couldn't bother using the little time in between papers to study! After all, how much could you possibly squeeze in at the last minute, right? These kids agree...

These girls were probably gossiping the whole time. One of them (not pictured) was actually hiding a Tupperware of fried rice (made by her classmate's sister, no less) under her notebook. They said they didn't have time for breakfast. I told them to get up earlier. What happens to your subuh if you wake up at 7a.m.?

One of these boys marveled at the fact that I was very brave to teach morning session. He said the kids in Form One were a lot tamer. I didn't tell him that I wasn't given a choice...

This boy gave me a few sheets of examination pad and saved me the trouble of running down to the exam hall for more. He's already one of my favourites. Pity I'm not teaching his class.

Okay, so we have some good eggs. This kid didn't move at all while I was in their class. He just kept reading the whole time and probably didn't even notice when I snapped this picture.

God bless this kid. Not only did he behave himself throughout the period but he was actually kind enough the sweep the classroom floor. Just when you thought the situation was doomed.

Illusions of Grandeur?

The discipline teacher walked into the exam hall the other day and was very angry to see some students sleeping or doodling towards the end of the exam. He asked me to take down their names so that he could call their parents. Maybe I'm just being slack but I think it's far better these kids sleep or draw (and they really can draw) instead of talking or disrupting the others. Bear in mind these are the kind of kids you feel grateful to see within the premises (as opposed to the other side of the fence) what more actually staying in their classrooms and taking exams.

Pity the lighting bites but I thought the dragon was pretty cool.

Art Exam

"Subjek Seni tak penting lah, Cikgu!"

The kids at school don't really like art. It's the social stigma that says art students are the bad students. What they really need to wake up to is the fact that their own school has reached a point where all students are bad students. That said, some of them really have talent.

The students were asked to re-draw a given scene (they were allowed to choose the time of day and to add in other interesting details) and to decorate a blank bag (as illustrated).

This bag was one of my favourites - I really like the bright colours.

This very clever girl asked her teacher (I wasn't in her classroom yet) for permission to go outside and pick some leaves, which she painted and pressed onto her drawing.

This particular student is also quite good at drawing beautiful manga. I've already asked her to draw some pictures for me, which I intend to use as classroom material.

This guy is probably more of a night person - I dig his style.

I've saved the best for last - this one was my phone wallpaper for a couple of days.

And The Band Played (and there was ghazal too)

Alhamdulillah I graduated on the 11th. I can only describe it as surreal. I didn't really believe I'd be walking on stage to get my degree (from Tuanku Bainun, no less) until I was actually on it and my face and name were on the screens and everything.
What could I say here that you can't read on anyone else's blog? If you regular read the blogs of my classmates (or any other graduates') I wouldn't want to bore you.
But I will say this: That day, I finally felt like I'm actually worth something. If you've ever been the one whose future any parent would worry about, the one who was looked down upon, thought of as an embarrassment, a black sheep and all that crap... you would know exactly what I mean.
Mama, Papa - this is for you. Thanks for everything. And the Masters is coming soon , I promise *hugs* I love you both...

And to every smart-ass who thought I was only good for cleaning toilets or whatever - IN YOUR FACE!

God, that felt good.

Kindergarten All Over Again

I'm thinking of making some flashcards next :-)

Has It Really Been That Long?

What are the odds that when I check this I would see a comment from Aunty Latiffa of all people reminding me that I haven't been updating my blog? Don't answer that.
Been teaching in Johor for almost a month now. It's been interesting, and I think I've just about settled into something like a routine. Here's a typical day for me:

6.30am - Wake up
7.00am - Leave for school
7.30am - 1.05pm - Teach little brats
2.00pm or so - Go home (This time will change when I have more work to do)
3.30pm - 4.30pm - Practice Hiragana (We can write quite a few characters now)
6.00pm - 7.00pm - Write novel (I'm currently on Chapter 8)
8.00pm - 10.00pm - Read books or do some reflection (No neglecting the journal)
10.00pm - Sleep (Okay, this is a lie - usually I sleep later than that)

The teachers are all very nice to me. Most of them are new to the school (my school is only eight years old) and a number of them are still young so I'm guessing they all still remember what it feels like to be the newbie. I'm replacing two teachers who have recently been transferred to a matriculation college. Their students have been warned. I've relieved their classes before and the kids are dead scared of me. But the school is full of really naughty children so apparently one has to be really strict. A few of them have been rude to me. I made them stand on chairs. They told their teacher I'm "garang macam harimau". The teachers told me to keep it up.

It's been a month and by now, some of the kids know me better. Now, they call me "Cikgu Rock". One boy was worried I might be too "rock" and he playfully begged me to go back to "makcik" mode. Whatever. To be fair, he may be thinking of the kids who still need a good old-fashioned "pial telinga" every now and then. The teachers in this school are not allowed to touch the kids, which is sad. Papa says this is why the kids are so spoilt. During practicum, the rule was "anything that doesn't kill the child is okay". Fun times... (I'm so sadistic)

Not sure what else to write about. Pressed for time at the moment because I don't have the laptop charger with me (No place to plug that in anyway). Will continue later, ya?

See You Again Soon

B.Ed. TESL Cohort 2 IPSAH-UPSI

Goodbyes are always so sad, no? My mom once commented, "The problem with you and your classmates is that you've been together too long and you're too close." What to do? Although, is it that bad to get to know people and grow to love them so much? I know I don't think so :-)
Guys, thanks for a wonderful six years. We've had our ups-and-downs (yes, Kas, I know it's cheesy) and our round-and-rounds but hey - perfect is boring, right? I wouldn't have it any other way. I've learned so much from all 24 of you.
All the best, people! I love you!

Staffroom Stuff

Boys: Kitorang masa praktikum dulu cukup bosan kalau duduk dalam bilik guru. Cikgu lelaki semua asyik cakap pasal benda yang sama je: baja, tanah, memancing...

Girl: Tu takpe lagi. Kalau cikgu perempuan asyik dok mengata orang je. Kalau kita tak nak bergaul sama, dia kata kita ni sombong pulak.

Hence why it is probably a blessing to teach at least 24 periods a week.

(Names withheld to protect privacy)

Other Side Of The Lens

Behind the scenes

Photographer: Muhammad bin Masri
Location: Ferry en route to Pulau Redang

I have yet to see the results of this particular mini photo shoot... Faiz!

It's Another Blog!

Language nerds may enjoy my second blog This Is Not Your Average Blogging Scene at: http://thetinyabs.blogspot.com
There's a link on the side labeled Alter Ego.

Optimism

One of my juniors tried to "enlighten" me on something the other day... It was very nice of her, but what she didn't realize is that I was pretty much thinking along the same lines when I was her age. Wasn't the first time I've ever thought, "Oh you say that now but just you wait two more years..." Yes, we've all been through that phase when we think we know everything simply because we've gone a few years past 13. But trust me - if you haven't already, you will get to a later stage where you realize that you've still got more to learn and then you'll decide it's probably better to keep quiet till you're... say, 40. Life begins at 40, right?
Maybe that's why they say so :-)

Pantun and Baju

Some things are unquestionably sacred to me, and my family.

Here's a recent conversation between me and my mother...
More or less verbatim.

Me: Ma, Zehan (my cousin) passed us her engagement DVD...
Ma: You know what happened? The other side was reciting pantun and your Uncle (no, not Zehan's dad) couldn't reply. Ok, it's bad enough you couldn't reply but you know what he said? He kept saying, "Tengok tu, nak menunjuk lah tu! Orang sekarang mana ada berpantun." Once I heard that... Apa lagi - I said to him, "Eh Li! Bukannya orang sekarang tak berpantun lagi - kau tu yang malas!" I mean, you know that you're representing the family in a formal engagement, you prepare lah at least one!
Me: Call me old-fashioned but I expect to hear pantun at traditional ceremonies.
Ma: I remember my late grandmother dulu, she could come up with pantun on the spot! Her mind was so sharp, you imagine? Ni yang orang nak kata uneducated sebab tak pergi sekolah...

Somehow we went this way about 20 seconds later...

Me: My friends and I were talking about what you wear to weddings, and I told them the story about Uncle Yan wanting to wear jeans to Aunty Nina's wedding. They asked me, "Tak boleh ke?" I said, "Your own sister's wedding nak pakai jeans - cari pasal lah tu; pakai lah baju Melayu!"
Ma: Punya lah marah your Nenek. But nowadays, you see people have no respect for weddings. Datang dengan seluar jeans koyak dengan T-shirt... Tak ada collar pula tu! Aiye...
Me: I mean, it's one thing to do Western attire at a Malay wedding but at least keep it neat!

And then it got to this...

Me: I don't know - I like to see men in baju Melayu, they look so smart. Especially when you wear it properly with the sampin and the butang...
Ma: People nowadays don't know how to wear it properly. Sayang.

Which reminds me: Guys think it's a lot to ask when we request the baju Melayu. Why? Certain baju kurung and kebaya are not exactly the most comfortable things in the world to wear but when the occasion calls for it we put it on - no questions asked. It's our culture and we give it that much respect. Nothing makes me more sad to go to a wedding and spot some mismatched couple - the girl looking so sweet in her baju kurung and the guy looking so mat rempit in his scruffy T-shirt and jeans. And what makes it worse is that the same guys who insist on NOT wearing the baju Melayu are the same guys who ask "Why must we copy other cultures?" >_<

When another cousin got married about a year or so back, she chose to do so in a mosque. Read that again: a mosque. Imagine our horror to see her Malay photographer carrying out her duties in jeans and a jacket. In a mosque, photographing a Malay wedding. Hello? Were you raised by non-Malays? Susah sangat ke nak pakai baju kurung tu? Berapa jam je pun. Takkan sepasang pun tak ada! When my sisters got married, both of them chose Kid Chan as wedding photographer. He was under no obligation to dress like a Malay. And yet, on both occasions this Chinese gentleman had the decency to wear a baju Melayu complete with butang baju Melayu, a sampin and, if I remember correctly, a songkok. "Malu orang kita je," my mother said. I agree.

Conflicted Conservative

My mom bought me new bathing suits for our class trip to Redang. She's been meaning to do so ever since I wore my bikini (my one-piece bathing suits don't fit anymore) on the Sarawak trip. Not that she minded (she was the one who bought it) but she knows that I don't really feel so comfortable wearing it when I'm not with my family. It's different when your parents are with you somehow. She also knows that recently I've become a little more shy when it comes to showing certain parts of the body. I can hear some of you saying "bullsh*t" but you haven't seen how short Aina's (name changed to protect identity) skirts are. Even my tennis skirt wasn't that small. Don't get me wrong; I think it's great that she (with the better legs, by the way) has so much confidence - it's just that I don't have the guts for it myself. I've borrowed it before and I'm glad at the time I was with trusted guy friends i.e. Camel and Boy who always look out for me: Believe me, it's no fun once the mat rempits catch sight of you. Yeah, of course, certain clothes get you noticed - but it's never the kind of attention you want, especially if you're alone.

To be honest, I've actually got a weird notion of conservative but I guess it's still developing. I don't cover my hair but I freak out if I don't have a button for my baju kurung. I love the kebaya but never without a camisole. I like shorts but I think it's a crime to wear them in a shopping mall like you're at the beach. And I adore close-fitting tees but absolutely hate the kind of tops that your boobs spill out of. It's confusing, I know. Some people might think of me as an exhibitionist one minute, and an old-fashioned prude the next. Even I feel as though I can't really make up my mind which one I really am. You would think that I'd have myself all figured out by the age of 23. But you know, they say one never really stops growing.

Jump For Joy or How To Be A Bad Student

Matt took this photo years back and I remember him saying something along the lines of, "Bayangkan esok kita dah grad, we have to take more pictures like this, okay?" He badly wanted to make a commercial out of it so he added the slogan "Achieving beyond possibilities" (which in my opinion says a lot about what he really thinks of my achievements and possibilities - Gee thanks a lot Matt). Any takers on UPSI's real slogan, anyone?

Pretty soon we'll have something real to show for everything we've had to put up with for the past six years. God, has it really been that long? Oh I feel old now.

Pretty soon it'll be payback time and all my ex-teachers are rubbing their hands with glee. Remember when your teachers used to say, "Esok kalau awak jadi cikgu, baru awak tahu..."? Here's a quick list of things I'm sorry I ever did because I know kids will give me the same in the definitely-not-too-distant-now future (Wow I must really like lists):

1) Skip classes (school, for that matter)
2) Skip homework
3) Cook up lousy excuses for (1) and (2)
4) What the heck is "revision"?
5) Not pay attention
6) Show a preference for the tuition teacher (She was nice to me!)
7) Fashion Police certain teachers (Not many of us could resist this one)
8) See No. 5 again
9) Fight back and refuse to believe in much of what they were saying
10) Not fully apply myself (This one I regret the most)

Truth be known, a lot of motivational so-called self-help stuff will tell you to go ahead with No. 9 but what do I know - I don't write those. I always end up being forced to believe in a lot of things anyway (except God but that's a given - I love God). This is what we call learning new things every day :-)

Got that, class? Understand-ing? Understood-ed?
[And they trust me to teach English.]

I miss my students.

Torture And The Like

I know this is horrible to even suggest but is anyone else of the opinion that people who can think of the most simple yet effective methods are just pure genius?

Here are a few of my favourite examples:

1) Cili mulut - Any idea how ouch this can get? This has to be officially/legally classified as a form of torture somewhere in the world.

2) Waterboarding - To hell with fancy schmancy technology and expensive nonsense; all you need is a board and a watering can. Let's face it, there are people (can we even call them that?) who deserve this.

3) My dad's paint remover plan - Just one swipe of this and the mat rempits will think twice before leaving their motorcycles in front of our gate ever again. Same goes for the illegally parked cars clogging up our street every night.

4) Chemical castration - Self-explanatory.

I'm sleepy. More on this another day... Pleasant dreams :-D

We like Spitz

Nitenai bokura ha hosoi ito de tsunagatte iru

Yoku aru akai yatsu ja naku

We, who are unalike, are connected by a thin thread

Not one of those red ones you see around

Snaps and Crocs

My dad had an accident this morning on the way to Johor because some ding couldn't control his car and hit my dad's car from behind (this is why I pantang punya lah pantang datuk nenek moyang orang kata degil nanti marah pulak tapi kalau dah degil tu degil lah kan ha ni ada je yang nak bagi aku membebel tahap nak semput tak tentu pasal if people i.e. my parents go anywhere without telling other people i.e. me where they're going - crazy how people should think this rule only applies to youngsters).

Anyway, alhamdulillah he is safe.

My (this close to twenty months old) niece Sara has got a very cute pair of Crocs now - this is probably as tiny as they really are:
Incidentally, I can hear her crying in her parents' room now. She probably woke up and realized that she didn't have her new Crocs on :-) The women in this family have a thing about brand new stuff - one of my aunties (of course I won't tell you which) likes to sleep with brand new (clean) shoes on. If I buy new books, they usually spend the night on the pillow right next to me. This is my roommate for the night (purchased just this evening):

Sara was very nice to Faiz today. Faiz was immeasurably pleased. Usually she screams and cries whenever she sees him but just now she salam him like a good little girl and was all manja and stuff. They even played ball together. She hasn't played that with me for quite some time :-(

Motivation

Chapter 2 of Kage No Yuurei is finally finished! Hope Chris likes it. Just this afternoon I told my brother-in-law about the story and he rather liked it, too - so fingers crossed, everyone!
My mother wants me to hurry up and finish the book so that I can sell it for millions and buy her a house by the sea - in Penang, where property like that is upwards of RM1 million. Wish me luck! I've planned out all 20 chapters so now all I have to do is write them but of course that's easier said than done. Thank God for Chris pushing me and pushing me and asking for more otherwise the book might never get written until I'm retired (and I haven't even started teaching yet).
Ishizuka-san, you're definitely gonna be in the dedication :-)

The Invitation

The other day I realized that I have never had the honour of an invitation to dance. 23 years - nothing. If it's not me extending the invitation (and getting rejected most times), it's something plain taken for granted i.e. Riza and myself leading the pack at family gatherings (not that it isn't "YAY" Riza my dear, but...) No one has ever really asked, "Would you like to dance?"

So here's to a sweet gentleman (who shall remain nameless) for making history sometime this month. It may not seem like much to you but I thank you from the bottom of my heart :-)

Apologies

You said sorry for everything the other day
And so did I
But somehow I feel it wasn't enough
You and I haven't always been the most logical of friends
We've loved and loathed
We've laughed and cried
Coming from two different worlds, we could not see eye to eye
But somewhere along the line
You and I met in the middle
We know now - friends don't always need to be the same kind
You accept my differences and I accept yours
You've got my back and I've got yours
And even if we need to keep making more sense of each other
I'm glad that we are friends, and will continue to be

Here's to (a fresh start of?) you and me!

Love is still in the air

On my way home this afternoon, I was patiently waiting at a traffic light when something very interesting caught my eye:


If you look closely, you can see the passenger running her fingers through the driver's hair at the base of his neck. What we're looking at here is a very romantic elderly couple. Gray hair and everything yet still so manja. I hope my husband and I will be that happy even when we get to be their age...

Ghost of a Weekend

This is Yuuko Ichihara of xxxHolic - my muse for Kage No Yuurei's Haruka:

I've been feeling like a yuurei (ghost) myself these days. Watching my life go by without actually living it (well, we all have those moments when you just don't want to) with as much passion as I normally do. And I'm really not in the mood for anything this weekend but I think I have to keep myself busy, if only to keep from thinking about trivial (or not-so-trivial) matters. Under any circumstances, a bunch of things have been left on the backseat. Such as an unfinished novel that keeps bugging me like a little kid pulling on your clothes for attention. I blame the project paper - it's made me dread opening up Word documents. Still, somewhere out there, someone's waiting to read the second chapter so I suppose I should get cracking. Matteite yo, Kurisu-kun!

Just Curious

This is an extension of Nani's photo activity. I was curious to see what the seventh photo in my seventh folder was... and believe it or not, we actually have:

That's Ahmad Faiz and myself on a trip to Sarawak. Photo by Kamarul Ariffin Ahmad and Muhamad Lothfi Zamri. Don't ask me why it takes two people to take a photo.

Ahmad Faiz is a surprisingly shy person. You can tell by the way he's inching away from me (yes, we were on talking terms by then) and sitting funny. He's never comfortable being photographed and is hardly ever in any of our group pictures. You'd think we never include him. So, that's why this particular photo is a rare one.

I actually can't remember where I bought that dress but it's one of my favourites.

Nani's Photo Request

Nani asked for a description of the sixth photo in the sixth picture folder so here it is:

This photo was taken by Matt during a filming session for our group project. Also in the group were Wan and Jey. We were making a video for the short story The Lotus Eater and taking breaks in between scenes. Matt caught me while I was reapplying my lip balm. Flattering.

Depression and the Diets

After years of research, I have observed two levels of depression:

Level 1 - in which a person is so depressed he/she will consume massive amounts of food

Level 2 - in which a person is too depressed to even think about food

Level 1 is pretty common and many of my friends can attest to downing mountains of comfort food (chocolate is a firm favourite) in trying times. But once in a while, we reach Level 2.

The other day I was feeling especially bad about something and I could only handle a bowl of soup for dinner (those who know me better would liken this to a sponge repelling water). My housemate gave me this really concerned look and asked, "Are you on a diet?"

There have actually been times when I went for days without a decent meal. It's dangerous, yes (especially when you're already as skinny as I am), but somehow you don't even realize your stomach is empty. It gets that bad and you won't even know it.

This is why I need to watch a lot of comedies - it would literally kill me to be sad.

Would You Call Me Stupid?

"So are you excited about tonight's birthday party?"

"Oh I'm not going - I'm seeing a friend of mine."

"Really? Wish you could join us, A. How about you, B?"

"Oh B's meeting up with a friend, too."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, what a coincidence..."

*Fast-forward 4 hours*

"Hi, C. How many of us are there tonight?"

"Not too many..."

"Hey, how come we're not celebrating D's birthday as well? After all, it's between E and F's birthday."

"Oh didn't you hear? A bunch of them wanted to celebrate D's birthday. Just them."

"Why not celebrate three birthdays instead of just one?"

"I don't know."

If you haven't figured it out by now, A and B are very good friends of mine.

I don't know about you, but in my opinion "We didn't want a big party" or even "You're not invited" probably would have hurt a lot less than a lie. But that's just me.

Sound Familiar?

The other day I was watching Oprah and there was this lady whose husband literally set her on fire and thank God she lived to tell the tale. They were talking to some experts on domestic abuse and one of them explained five signs that a man could turn out to be physically violent and abusive:

1) He's irrationally jealous - even of your friends...
2) He shows controlling behavior - from your clothes to your diet to what you do with your money, everything he says goes...
3) He verbally abuses you - to the humiliating point where you feel like less of a human being...
4) He threatens to physically harm you - and your family or friends or pets...
5) He isolates you - and makes you feel completely alone so you won't get help from anyone.

If you, or any unfortunate individual you know, are in this kind of relationship... end it now.
Share this with every woman in your life. You never know who you'll end up saving.

P.S. I know a few of us are already thinking of the same person. Shall we all e-mail her?

And Then Tomorrow

I finally finished writing my project paper... All I have to do now is wait for my supervisor to approve it then we can edit the itty bitty nonsense and then it's all systems go with the printer and I am DONE with assignments! Haha! Oh the past six years of studying are starting to feel sweeter now! (Shut up... Anyone who's graduated after one too many years of school could relate to this.)

The plan for writing did not go well at all. The weekend I wanted to really write more on the last two chapters we had to practice our storytelling (which in the end was postponed anyway). Then yesterday when I thought I had a good chance my mom drags me to Tesco (sekejap je, she says). After she's weighed out enough chicken and meat and prawns she realises that she's left her credit card at home and I had to wait for her to go back and get it. In the meantime, she allowed me to select a whole bunch of stuff to take back to Sungai Petani... She generously paid.

Today my niece decided to be extra cute. She screamed when anyone pulled her away from her busy aunty (away from my laptop, more like it) and would come crying back to me. And if she comes running with her arms up in the air, it's hard to say no. Even when her parents took her to her grandparents' place (Daddy's side), the first thing I heard when she came back was, "Baba! Baba!" (She still can't say "Eva") Anyway, it's a miracle I got my work done by the end of the day.

The good news is now I'm pretty much free to write Shadow Spirit, which I hated leaving on the back seat. Let the fun begin...