Some things are unquestionably sacred to me, and my family.
Here's a recent conversation between me and my mother...
More or less verbatim.
Me: Ma, Zehan (my cousin) passed us her engagement DVD...
Ma: You know what happened? The other side was reciting pantun and your Uncle (no, not Zehan's dad) couldn't reply. Ok, it's bad enough you couldn't reply but you know what he said? He kept saying, "Tengok tu, nak menunjuk lah tu! Orang sekarang mana ada berpantun." Once I heard that... Apa lagi - I said to him, "Eh Li! Bukannya orang sekarang tak berpantun lagi - kau tu yang malas!" I mean, you know that you're representing the family in a formal engagement, you prepare lah at least one!
Me: Call me old-fashioned but I expect to hear pantun at traditional ceremonies.
Ma: I remember my late grandmother dulu, she could come up with pantun on the spot! Her mind was so sharp, you imagine? Ni yang orang nak kata uneducated sebab tak pergi sekolah...
Somehow we went this way about 20 seconds later...
Me: My friends and I were talking about what you wear to weddings, and I told them the story about Uncle Yan wanting to wear jeans to Aunty Nina's wedding. They asked me, "Tak boleh ke?" I said, "Your own sister's wedding nak pakai jeans - cari pasal lah tu; pakai lah baju Melayu!"
Ma: Punya lah marah your Nenek. But nowadays, you see people have no respect for weddings. Datang dengan seluar jeans koyak dengan T-shirt... Tak ada collar pula tu! Aiye...
Me: I mean, it's one thing to do Western attire at a Malay wedding but at least keep it neat!
And then it got to this...
Me: I don't know - I like to see men in baju Melayu, they look so smart. Especially when you wear it properly with the sampin and the butang...
Ma: People nowadays don't know how to wear it properly. Sayang.
Which reminds me: Guys think it's a lot to ask when we request the baju Melayu. Why? Certain baju kurung and kebaya are not exactly the most comfortable things in the world to wear but when the occasion calls for it we put it on - no questions asked. It's our culture and we give it that much respect. Nothing makes me more sad to go to a wedding and spot some mismatched couple - the girl looking so sweet in her baju kurung and the guy looking so mat rempit in his scruffy T-shirt and jeans. And what makes it worse is that the same guys who insist on NOT wearing the baju Melayu are the same guys who ask "Why must we copy other cultures?" >_<
When another cousin got married about a year or so back, she chose to do so in a mosque. Read that again: a mosque. Imagine our horror to see her Malay photographer carrying out her duties in jeans and a jacket. In a mosque, photographing a Malay wedding. Hello? Were you raised by non-Malays? Susah sangat ke nak pakai baju kurung tu? Berapa jam je pun. Takkan sepasang pun tak ada! When my sisters got married, both of them chose Kid Chan as wedding photographer. He was under no obligation to dress like a Malay. And yet, on both occasions this Chinese gentleman had the decency to wear a baju Melayu complete with butang baju Melayu, a sampin and, if I remember correctly, a songkok. "Malu orang kita je," my mother said. I agree.
Here's a recent conversation between me and my mother...
More or less verbatim.
Me: Ma, Zehan (my cousin) passed us her engagement DVD...
Ma: You know what happened? The other side was reciting pantun and your Uncle (no, not Zehan's dad) couldn't reply. Ok, it's bad enough you couldn't reply but you know what he said? He kept saying, "Tengok tu, nak menunjuk lah tu! Orang sekarang mana ada berpantun." Once I heard that... Apa lagi - I said to him, "Eh Li! Bukannya orang sekarang tak berpantun lagi - kau tu yang malas!" I mean, you know that you're representing the family in a formal engagement, you prepare lah at least one!
Me: Call me old-fashioned but I expect to hear pantun at traditional ceremonies.
Ma: I remember my late grandmother dulu, she could come up with pantun on the spot! Her mind was so sharp, you imagine? Ni yang orang nak kata uneducated sebab tak pergi sekolah...
Somehow we went this way about 20 seconds later...
Me: My friends and I were talking about what you wear to weddings, and I told them the story about Uncle Yan wanting to wear jeans to Aunty Nina's wedding. They asked me, "Tak boleh ke?" I said, "Your own sister's wedding nak pakai jeans - cari pasal lah tu; pakai lah baju Melayu!"
Ma: Punya lah marah your Nenek. But nowadays, you see people have no respect for weddings. Datang dengan seluar jeans koyak dengan T-shirt... Tak ada collar pula tu! Aiye...
Me: I mean, it's one thing to do Western attire at a Malay wedding but at least keep it neat!
And then it got to this...
Me: I don't know - I like to see men in baju Melayu, they look so smart. Especially when you wear it properly with the sampin and the butang...
Ma: People nowadays don't know how to wear it properly. Sayang.
Which reminds me: Guys think it's a lot to ask when we request the baju Melayu. Why? Certain baju kurung and kebaya are not exactly the most comfortable things in the world to wear but when the occasion calls for it we put it on - no questions asked. It's our culture and we give it that much respect. Nothing makes me more sad to go to a wedding and spot some mismatched couple - the girl looking so sweet in her baju kurung and the guy looking so mat rempit in his scruffy T-shirt and jeans. And what makes it worse is that the same guys who insist on NOT wearing the baju Melayu are the same guys who ask "Why must we copy other cultures?" >_<
When another cousin got married about a year or so back, she chose to do so in a mosque. Read that again: a mosque. Imagine our horror to see her Malay photographer carrying out her duties in jeans and a jacket. In a mosque, photographing a Malay wedding. Hello? Were you raised by non-Malays? Susah sangat ke nak pakai baju kurung tu? Berapa jam je pun. Takkan sepasang pun tak ada! When my sisters got married, both of them chose Kid Chan as wedding photographer. He was under no obligation to dress like a Malay. And yet, on both occasions this Chinese gentleman had the decency to wear a baju Melayu complete with butang baju Melayu, a sampin and, if I remember correctly, a songkok. "Malu orang kita je," my mother said. I agree.
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