Optimism

One of my juniors tried to "enlighten" me on something the other day... It was very nice of her, but what she didn't realize is that I was pretty much thinking along the same lines when I was her age. Wasn't the first time I've ever thought, "Oh you say that now but just you wait two more years..." Yes, we've all been through that phase when we think we know everything simply because we've gone a few years past 13. But trust me - if you haven't already, you will get to a later stage where you realize that you've still got more to learn and then you'll decide it's probably better to keep quiet till you're... say, 40. Life begins at 40, right?
Maybe that's why they say so :-)

Pantun and Baju

Some things are unquestionably sacred to me, and my family.

Here's a recent conversation between me and my mother...
More or less verbatim.

Me: Ma, Zehan (my cousin) passed us her engagement DVD...
Ma: You know what happened? The other side was reciting pantun and your Uncle (no, not Zehan's dad) couldn't reply. Ok, it's bad enough you couldn't reply but you know what he said? He kept saying, "Tengok tu, nak menunjuk lah tu! Orang sekarang mana ada berpantun." Once I heard that... Apa lagi - I said to him, "Eh Li! Bukannya orang sekarang tak berpantun lagi - kau tu yang malas!" I mean, you know that you're representing the family in a formal engagement, you prepare lah at least one!
Me: Call me old-fashioned but I expect to hear pantun at traditional ceremonies.
Ma: I remember my late grandmother dulu, she could come up with pantun on the spot! Her mind was so sharp, you imagine? Ni yang orang nak kata uneducated sebab tak pergi sekolah...

Somehow we went this way about 20 seconds later...

Me: My friends and I were talking about what you wear to weddings, and I told them the story about Uncle Yan wanting to wear jeans to Aunty Nina's wedding. They asked me, "Tak boleh ke?" I said, "Your own sister's wedding nak pakai jeans - cari pasal lah tu; pakai lah baju Melayu!"
Ma: Punya lah marah your Nenek. But nowadays, you see people have no respect for weddings. Datang dengan seluar jeans koyak dengan T-shirt... Tak ada collar pula tu! Aiye...
Me: I mean, it's one thing to do Western attire at a Malay wedding but at least keep it neat!

And then it got to this...

Me: I don't know - I like to see men in baju Melayu, they look so smart. Especially when you wear it properly with the sampin and the butang...
Ma: People nowadays don't know how to wear it properly. Sayang.

Which reminds me: Guys think it's a lot to ask when we request the baju Melayu. Why? Certain baju kurung and kebaya are not exactly the most comfortable things in the world to wear but when the occasion calls for it we put it on - no questions asked. It's our culture and we give it that much respect. Nothing makes me more sad to go to a wedding and spot some mismatched couple - the girl looking so sweet in her baju kurung and the guy looking so mat rempit in his scruffy T-shirt and jeans. And what makes it worse is that the same guys who insist on NOT wearing the baju Melayu are the same guys who ask "Why must we copy other cultures?" >_<

When another cousin got married about a year or so back, she chose to do so in a mosque. Read that again: a mosque. Imagine our horror to see her Malay photographer carrying out her duties in jeans and a jacket. In a mosque, photographing a Malay wedding. Hello? Were you raised by non-Malays? Susah sangat ke nak pakai baju kurung tu? Berapa jam je pun. Takkan sepasang pun tak ada! When my sisters got married, both of them chose Kid Chan as wedding photographer. He was under no obligation to dress like a Malay. And yet, on both occasions this Chinese gentleman had the decency to wear a baju Melayu complete with butang baju Melayu, a sampin and, if I remember correctly, a songkok. "Malu orang kita je," my mother said. I agree.

Conflicted Conservative

My mom bought me new bathing suits for our class trip to Redang. She's been meaning to do so ever since I wore my bikini (my one-piece bathing suits don't fit anymore) on the Sarawak trip. Not that she minded (she was the one who bought it) but she knows that I don't really feel so comfortable wearing it when I'm not with my family. It's different when your parents are with you somehow. She also knows that recently I've become a little more shy when it comes to showing certain parts of the body. I can hear some of you saying "bullsh*t" but you haven't seen how short Aina's (name changed to protect identity) skirts are. Even my tennis skirt wasn't that small. Don't get me wrong; I think it's great that she (with the better legs, by the way) has so much confidence - it's just that I don't have the guts for it myself. I've borrowed it before and I'm glad at the time I was with trusted guy friends i.e. Camel and Boy who always look out for me: Believe me, it's no fun once the mat rempits catch sight of you. Yeah, of course, certain clothes get you noticed - but it's never the kind of attention you want, especially if you're alone.

To be honest, I've actually got a weird notion of conservative but I guess it's still developing. I don't cover my hair but I freak out if I don't have a button for my baju kurung. I love the kebaya but never without a camisole. I like shorts but I think it's a crime to wear them in a shopping mall like you're at the beach. And I adore close-fitting tees but absolutely hate the kind of tops that your boobs spill out of. It's confusing, I know. Some people might think of me as an exhibitionist one minute, and an old-fashioned prude the next. Even I feel as though I can't really make up my mind which one I really am. You would think that I'd have myself all figured out by the age of 23. But you know, they say one never really stops growing.

Jump For Joy or How To Be A Bad Student

Matt took this photo years back and I remember him saying something along the lines of, "Bayangkan esok kita dah grad, we have to take more pictures like this, okay?" He badly wanted to make a commercial out of it so he added the slogan "Achieving beyond possibilities" (which in my opinion says a lot about what he really thinks of my achievements and possibilities - Gee thanks a lot Matt). Any takers on UPSI's real slogan, anyone?

Pretty soon we'll have something real to show for everything we've had to put up with for the past six years. God, has it really been that long? Oh I feel old now.

Pretty soon it'll be payback time and all my ex-teachers are rubbing their hands with glee. Remember when your teachers used to say, "Esok kalau awak jadi cikgu, baru awak tahu..."? Here's a quick list of things I'm sorry I ever did because I know kids will give me the same in the definitely-not-too-distant-now future (Wow I must really like lists):

1) Skip classes (school, for that matter)
2) Skip homework
3) Cook up lousy excuses for (1) and (2)
4) What the heck is "revision"?
5) Not pay attention
6) Show a preference for the tuition teacher (She was nice to me!)
7) Fashion Police certain teachers (Not many of us could resist this one)
8) See No. 5 again
9) Fight back and refuse to believe in much of what they were saying
10) Not fully apply myself (This one I regret the most)

Truth be known, a lot of motivational so-called self-help stuff will tell you to go ahead with No. 9 but what do I know - I don't write those. I always end up being forced to believe in a lot of things anyway (except God but that's a given - I love God). This is what we call learning new things every day :-)

Got that, class? Understand-ing? Understood-ed?
[And they trust me to teach English.]

I miss my students.

Torture And The Like

I know this is horrible to even suggest but is anyone else of the opinion that people who can think of the most simple yet effective methods are just pure genius?

Here are a few of my favourite examples:

1) Cili mulut - Any idea how ouch this can get? This has to be officially/legally classified as a form of torture somewhere in the world.

2) Waterboarding - To hell with fancy schmancy technology and expensive nonsense; all you need is a board and a watering can. Let's face it, there are people (can we even call them that?) who deserve this.

3) My dad's paint remover plan - Just one swipe of this and the mat rempits will think twice before leaving their motorcycles in front of our gate ever again. Same goes for the illegally parked cars clogging up our street every night.

4) Chemical castration - Self-explanatory.

I'm sleepy. More on this another day... Pleasant dreams :-D

We like Spitz

Nitenai bokura ha hosoi ito de tsunagatte iru

Yoku aru akai yatsu ja naku

We, who are unalike, are connected by a thin thread

Not one of those red ones you see around

Snaps and Crocs

My dad had an accident this morning on the way to Johor because some ding couldn't control his car and hit my dad's car from behind (this is why I pantang punya lah pantang datuk nenek moyang orang kata degil nanti marah pulak tapi kalau dah degil tu degil lah kan ha ni ada je yang nak bagi aku membebel tahap nak semput tak tentu pasal if people i.e. my parents go anywhere without telling other people i.e. me where they're going - crazy how people should think this rule only applies to youngsters).

Anyway, alhamdulillah he is safe.

My (this close to twenty months old) niece Sara has got a very cute pair of Crocs now - this is probably as tiny as they really are:
Incidentally, I can hear her crying in her parents' room now. She probably woke up and realized that she didn't have her new Crocs on :-) The women in this family have a thing about brand new stuff - one of my aunties (of course I won't tell you which) likes to sleep with brand new (clean) shoes on. If I buy new books, they usually spend the night on the pillow right next to me. This is my roommate for the night (purchased just this evening):

Sara was very nice to Faiz today. Faiz was immeasurably pleased. Usually she screams and cries whenever she sees him but just now she salam him like a good little girl and was all manja and stuff. They even played ball together. She hasn't played that with me for quite some time :-(

Motivation

Chapter 2 of Kage No Yuurei is finally finished! Hope Chris likes it. Just this afternoon I told my brother-in-law about the story and he rather liked it, too - so fingers crossed, everyone!
My mother wants me to hurry up and finish the book so that I can sell it for millions and buy her a house by the sea - in Penang, where property like that is upwards of RM1 million. Wish me luck! I've planned out all 20 chapters so now all I have to do is write them but of course that's easier said than done. Thank God for Chris pushing me and pushing me and asking for more otherwise the book might never get written until I'm retired (and I haven't even started teaching yet).
Ishizuka-san, you're definitely gonna be in the dedication :-)

The Invitation

The other day I realized that I have never had the honour of an invitation to dance. 23 years - nothing. If it's not me extending the invitation (and getting rejected most times), it's something plain taken for granted i.e. Riza and myself leading the pack at family gatherings (not that it isn't "YAY" Riza my dear, but...) No one has ever really asked, "Would you like to dance?"

So here's to a sweet gentleman (who shall remain nameless) for making history sometime this month. It may not seem like much to you but I thank you from the bottom of my heart :-)

Apologies

You said sorry for everything the other day
And so did I
But somehow I feel it wasn't enough
You and I haven't always been the most logical of friends
We've loved and loathed
We've laughed and cried
Coming from two different worlds, we could not see eye to eye
But somewhere along the line
You and I met in the middle
We know now - friends don't always need to be the same kind
You accept my differences and I accept yours
You've got my back and I've got yours
And even if we need to keep making more sense of each other
I'm glad that we are friends, and will continue to be

Here's to (a fresh start of?) you and me!