When You Could Not Be More Wrong

Here I introduce a new segment: Excellent Excerpts

Conversations with friends: Faiz, Zul, Wani

Eva: Would you mind driving? I'm tired - I just got back from Baling, remember?
Faiz: Okay.

Eva: I think maybe it's because I'm old-fashioned, but I have this thing where the guy should drive; especially if he's gonna be the one taking care of the girl. (In this case, I'm just tired)

Wani: My best friend is getting married... Awak...

Zul: Eh, kenapa kita kena pergi kursus kahwin tu?
Eva: Well, you go there and they can teach you more about Islam and...
Faiz: Why would we need to...?
Eva: Ye lah, if you're gonna be a parent one day there's a lot of stuff you should be able to teach your children... And you should also know the do's and dont's of a Muslim husband or wife...

Zul: Awak, baca Doa Qunut.
Eva: Relax lah, Zul, they're not gonna test you.
Wani: Tu lah. Tapi kat Melaka kalau gagal, dapat sijil jugak so what's the point?
Faiz: Kena ambik ujian ke kat Melaka?!
Wani: Ah ah.
Eva: Haha, you should make Zul take the test - kalau lulus, mesti your mother happy...

Faiz: Growing up, I always thought a kursus kahwin would have someone telling you, "This is about sex..."
Eva: That is NOT what it's all about!
Faiz: I know, I know...
Eva: Mana ada kursus macam tu!
Faiz: Zul, mari kita buat kursus kahwin cara baru...

Wani: Tapi ada juga dia terangkan pasal...
Zul: Cara buat?
Wani: Adab lah. Adab sebelum buat...
Eva: Dia ada terangkan pasal pagar tu tak?
Zul: Hah? Panjat pagar?
Eva: No, the pagar as in... You know, when the husband says a prayer for his wife before the batalkan air sembahyang, and it protects her...
Wani: Oh ye ke?
Faiz: Protects her from what?
Eva: You know, benda halus and stuff...
Faiz: Benda halus? Virus?
Eva: *gives him the look* No. Okay, it protects her from harm in general lah...
Faiz: Okay. I'm a modern person - you say benda halus, I think viruses.
Eva: Yeah, and I'm old-fashioned.
Zul: Apa dia?
Faiz: Old-fashioned.
Zul: Eva, old-fashioned? Aku rasa Eva paling modern yang aku kenal.
Wani: Eh, takde lah... Tengok keluarga dia...
Zul: Keluarga dia, aku boleh percaya. Tapi Eva...
Faiz: Tak, Zul. Eva kalau kau betul-betul kenal dia, dia memang old-fashioned.
Zul: Ye ke?
Eva: Zul, aku baru je pial telinga seorang budak sebab dia tak tunduk jalan depan cikgu.
Faiz: Ha, tengok? Cubaan yang paling bagus; bukannya tampar ke apa, dia pial telinga. Cubaan zaman dulu-dulu, pial telinga budak. Macam nenek...
Eva: Nenek dipanggilnya aku...
Faiz: Dia boleh jadi Saloma lah, tapi zaman lain...