Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Back To You (Or Me)

Lately I've been so focused on school and the kids that I've forgotten one very important thing: Myself. I'm not eating as much as I used to and I've lost a lost of weight. My days are filled with work and even my personal time for myself revolves around work. I used to read a lot at night but now the only reading I get at night is marking essays. And if it wasn't for the rugby team I probably wouldn't even get any fresh air.
But the worst part is that my dreams, my reasons for living, have taken a backseat. I haven't been able to work on my novel in months and I have no idea what's going to become of it. And where is that Master's degree? All this educating other people and sacrificing my own education with almost nobody being grateful for that sacrifice. Sometimes the things you want are actually the things you need. I'm young and unmarried and there's no better time for me to do my Masters than right now.
Thankfully, the fact that it's been more than a year of all this work means I'm that much closer to confirmation. We've already done our BTN and Kursus Induksi and we've been interviewed so now all we have to do is wait for the college to give the necessary information to KPM so we can get our certificates and pass them to school admin to process and wait for our confirmation. Bureaucracy is a beautiful thing, no?
That done, I can do my Masters full-time. I asked my principal and he told me to go ahead and apply for it. Once I'm accepted we can write to KPM for a green light. I'm getting him and my former lecturer to write the reference reports. I'm fortunate to have so many supporting me in this. My PK Koku supports me too but she was a bit sad when I told her I'm hoping to start my Masters at the end of this year. We work well together. She's also wondering where she's going to get another teacher for the rugby team.
I've applied online and prepared all the necessary documents and stuff. Just waiting for the references and then it's just a whole lot of prayers until I get some good news. My principal said it's usually easier for English teachers because English is a critical subject. Funny how not many people agree. You'd be surprised at the number of people who could still ask, "Why learn English? What's the point?" Worse still for Literature.
I'm really eager to go back to university. I know a candle is not dimmed by lighting another but for some strange reason I sometimes feel as if my brain is quickly turning to mush from a lack of mental stimulus. Thank God for all the arguments with my boyfriend - that's some serious intellectual challenge right there.

See babe? I told you you were good for me ^_^

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