In Loving Memory

My grandfather passed away a decade ago. I miss him more every single year. There were so many things I should have said and done but didn't. Worse still are the things I shouldn't have said and done but did. And as I continue to grow and learn I discover so much more that I wish I could share with him but I can't.

Listening to this song just made me feel... I don't know. I hate you, Mariah Carey.

"Bye Bye"

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me in line
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings, and I missed you
But I'm glad we talked through
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

[Chorus:]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by
And it's true that you've reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye

(Bye Bye [3x])
Bye bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
You'd make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

[Chorus]

(bye bye bye bye bye bye [3x])
Bye bye

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

[Chorus]

The Journey By Night

82. And We send down from the Qur'an that which is a healing and a mercy to those who believe (in Islamic Monotheism and act on it), and it increases the Zalimun (polytheists and wrong-doers) nothing but loss.

-Surah Al-Isra'

Two floors above me, there lives a lady who teaches people (mostly kids) to read the Quran. Recently I had the chance to talk to her and now she's also teaching me.

Well, if I'm going to tell my students to make learning a life-long thing, I'll have to lead by example. And it's been years since I had anyone guiding me in my Quran recitation.

Praise God, my recitation has not gone that far downhill. Anyway, she reminds me that one is never too old to learn and the most important thing is to never give up.
Allah SWT gives to whom He wills.

Wish me all the best

Baskin In The Robbins

Shared a brownie ala mode with Cikgu Jihan some weeks back after her meeting in Johor Jaya got cancelled. And last week, Athirah (one of this teacher's many pets) belanja me the same thing (with different flavours).

Life is good.

Some Kinda Local Sakura

Does anybody know what tree this is? It's long been a favourite of mine. Apparently, it's in season now and I've been having a personal O-Hanami at school (yes, we have plenty of them at my school). The kids like it, too.

Bright Lights, Big City

This is my favourite part of the North-South Highway. See if you can't figure out exactly where this picture was taken. I love how the city peeks out at you as you come up over the hill and then when you're zooming down... Wow.

Praying With Papa

So pure of face, wouldn't you say?

My father is full of surprises. Among his latest was telling me that even with all my shortcomings, he considered me his anak soleh. Me. The daughter the family would complain about when he came home from work at the end of each day. The one who was such a nightmare way back in school that he was ashamed to meet my teachers. The one who made him use the rotan on a regular basis, and for which he would cry afterwards. The one who was always the life of the party - usually first one on and last one off the dance floor. The one who was always more comfortable being friends with boys than girls (granted this was never to a disturbing degree) and giving people the wrong idea. And a billion other things I hate myself for and would never list here. He knows all this, and still he considers me the filial daughter he has the highest hopes for. And he expects the best from one he considers the best.
As a child you want your parents to be proud of you for what you are. But this exceeds all my expectations. This is a title I had never even dared to dream of. I always thought I'd be Queen of Malaysia before anyone called me anak soleh.
This is the highest regard, Papa.
I'll try my best not to let you down.

An Interesting Story

The two girls were sitting side by side, one of them watching the other carefully adjust her hijab.
"You look nice, sister."
"Thank you. I have seen you in a hijab and you look nice too."
"I wish I could wear it like you, sister."
"Why can't you?"
"Because I am not like you. I am not perfect."
"Nobody is. Only God is perfect."
"You know what I mean."
"Talk to me."
"I take my religion seriously enough but I still worry that I may be unworthy of wearing the hijab as you do."
"How so?"
"Some people dishonour the hijab. They wear it but do not behave accordingly."
"But I know you, my sister. And you are not like them. You observe prayer, fast during the holy month of Ramadhan and read the Quran in your spare time."
"But you do more than I do in terms of religion."
The other one smiled. "What makes you so sure the little that you do is not accepted by God and the plenty that others do is accepted by God?"
"I still believe that only some people are worthy of the garment."
Now the other one laughed. "If that is how you feel, let me ask you this: What have you got to lose from being the kind of person you do deem worthy?"
Silence. "It would be a major change."
"But for the better. And once you have changed for the better, no one should have a problem with how you choose to present yourself. It is between you and God - and no one else."