Unwell

Is it just me or can we associate being unwell with some good writing? Either your head is messed up and you've got a lot of good crap coming out of your subconscious or you're too sick to get out of bed so you just stay in and write your fingers off? I have a cold right now and I'm stuck at home so we'll see what comes out of all this later.

Been revisiting the past year's poetry. Rescued some random stuff from a previous journal too. There's not much, but I do like what I have. I think I hardly wrote at all this past semester, and I blame it all on practicum. I hope this is not a foreshadowing of my writing practice in the future. Then again, there are a lot of things you don't have to do once you're teaching for real, so... I should be able to have more time to myself. Unless Miss Niceness takes over and goes two extra miles. I'll be the death of me, I swear.

Anyone who read Characters Under Glass before it was published might remember The Notebook with the embroidered cover. Guess what? We now have Notebook 2! Again with a pretty cover. The past couple of days I rearranged all my post-Characters poetry and wrote them in there. I don't know why but there's something romantic about a well-kept handwritten copy of poetry. My brother-in-law was like, why? and I'm like, dunno.

Wet Feedback

So far only two people have cried in response to my writing:

Christine
Faiz

There are a few pieces that could potentially make my mother cry but she's very good at this poker-face thing...

I don't know. Part of me believes that this is the ultimate in feedback. When the emotion in a piece is so strong that it moves you to tears. How often does that happen these days?

What Happened There?

Faiz told me that one of the reasons he no longer writes poetry is due to the fact that he no longer has much angst to draw from (so he says). He suspects that may be one of the reasons I don't write as often as I used to. I worry that he may be right. Of course not all of my poetry came from young adult angst but still... Then again, the volumes of angsty poetry coming from all corners of the world tell us one thing: this stuff makes you write.

Some time later I should have more anthologies sorted by theme : D

Voices Launch

Readings at Seksans on the 25th was especially fun for a number of reasons:

1) We had Reza Salleh singing us some beautiful songs
2) We had the successful Malaysian writers joining us
3) We had the book launch (Congratulations, Poetry Underground)

4) I dragged Faiz and Zul along

The great Reza Rosli invited us for his open house after that. I would now like to take the opportunity to ask anyone living in Bukit Jelutong: is there such a road as Jalan Kubah 9? If there is, it doesn't matter because that's NOT where Reza's house is (Thanks a lot, dude)! Oh well : ) At least I was fortunate enough to have been given a rather accurate map. Hazlan and co. were not so fortunate, hehehe... By the way, Reza, the house is gorgeous! Thanks for having us : )

The Book Is Out!

It's official : )

My first poetry anthology Characters Under Glass has finally been published. Until I'm free to do readings and such during the holidays, they're available via special order from Mr. Abdul Halim Ali of the Language Faculty, Universiti Pendidikan Sultan Idris. You can also write to me!

Here's the introduction on page viii:

Characters Under Glass is a study of life, or more specifically, different individuals from all walks of life under the proverbial microscope. This book features different takes on all our close encounters – the places you’ve seen, the people you’ve met, the emotions you’ve felt – wrapped up and tied with a bow; simply because, more often than not, we miss them the first time around and hope for a second chance.

The phrase 'under glass' not only refers to the glass of the microscope but also to the fact that in so many situations there is this shared feeling of being trapped, or even of helplessness; particularly with issues that are taboo or those of which the public is surprisingly still unaware, in spite of how the glass that displays them is transparent.

Because it is high time we stop to take a closer look at our lives and appreciate all the blessings that we have, because we need to break out of our glass cages, I humbly offer you this baby window to the world. It may not seem big enough, but at the very least it will always be wide-open.

So take your time. And enjoy.

Stupid Price Hike

We are currently rewriting "Candy Girl" with Pey's help. She is excellent to work with. She's very patient, and her comments are constructive (don't get why some people have to be so harsh, and it's worse when they can't come up with anything better).

The fact that we have to rush this a bit for the anthology makes me a little sad. I like to take my time revisiting work. Sometimes I put it away and look at it again after a couple of days, weeks or months even. But this time I'm not alone, so it shouldn't be too bad.

I know I should be writing my book review (Sorry Daphne) but I just spent a few hours stuck in the car (RM2.70 for petrol starting tomorrow, remember? Took me ages to get back) and now I just want to sleep. I hate this feeling. I feel like a slug, and not the cute kind, either. Now undecided on whether or not to drive tomorrow.

My publisher's been very quiet lately. He's making me worried. Though I'm sure he has his reasons. Please tell me he has at least one good reason. Help me out here, anybody...

Project OMG

I thought I was crazy but Reza is insane! We stayed up until 2am writing our piece and just before I sleep, he tells me he wants to change the whole thing. We spent the whole Sunday (today) writing and practicing but in the end, it was alright. We didn't suck too bad, and the British Project Connect kids seemed to like it (or did a very good job of pretending to). If Reza wasn't such a good writer I'd strangle him. But then again, he'd probably like that...

Our poem "Candy Girl" is about the relationship between a young girl (a nymphet, to be specific) and an older man. No prizes for guessing who played who. I personally love what we came up with. I was unsure about some stuff but I fought to keep them in the poem anyway. The highlight of my evening was when Hazlan said he liked that part and I was like, "Oh really? Reza hated that; he wanted to cut it out!" And I was this close to doing it, too.

I seem to be going on about this collaboration. Probably because it's my first time, and it's great to be able to work with someone who's more experienced and more mature in terms of writing. This is a lucky break. And I'd love to do it again.

Yesterday Today Tomorrow

If you're wondering why things have changed around here, that's because I decided to delete the entire blog. Don't fret. Why? Because prayers (notice I didn't say whose) have finally been answered and the book thing is actually happening so being the selfish cow that I am... Yeah. Anyway, fellow poet Reza Rosli asked me an interesting question the other day: How do you write your poetry? I never realised that I actually have a process until he pointed it out.

Now, I'm pretty sure it goes something like this:

Step One: Wait for something to write about.

Step Two: Get into character (as he calls it).

Step Three: Write.

Step Four: Look at it again.

Step Five: Rewrite.

Repeat steps four and five roughly a hundred times.

I am assured that this counts as an actual process.

Maybe I've been thinking about the whole thing too much but for some reason, last night I dreamt that I was writing. Sitting God-knows-where and writing. And it was frustrating because I couldn't see what I was writing. I mean, you never know... it might have been something worthwhile.

I must say, going for the poetry slam was probably the best thing I've ever done for myself in a while. Because that's where I met so many people who shared my interests and welcomed me to share theirs. Which reminds me, I need to thank Daphne again for inviting me in the first place. And George for inviting me to This Is Now, which pretty much opened up the windows inside my head to let the light in again (what an evening). I noticed I've been writing a lot more since then. And that's great, except it's been the cause of my getting up later in the morning.